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Food for Thought Friday: two big life updates! 🐣 🚚
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At my old job, I once found an unsolicited line about me in an email that our co-founder had written to my boss: "Jess is always 2 steps ahead :)." I was so proud of this quote that I actually put it at the bottom of my resume for some time afterward 🤓.
I can’t help it, this is just how my brain works: always thinking ahead/several steps down the line. Generally this is a quality I like about myself, although sometimes it can be a little much… for example…
I was very single from 2012-2020, and every new year when I sat down to think about my goals for the coming year, I would close my eyes, take a breath, and immediately think about my #1 desire, which was to have a boyfriend/partner/eventual family + kids. In the early years of this single period, I felt it would surely happen someday and wasn’t worried about it, but as the years wore on, I started to feel increasingly nervous about my biological clock and my planner brain kicked into high gear.
In early 2020, my planner brain determined that from my then-currently-single standpoint, the fastest reasonable-but-possible timeline in which I could go from single to baby would be 3 years. I figured - at least one year of dating before getting engaged, one year from engagement to wedding, and then - who knows how long it could take to make a baby but, at the soonest, maybe I could have a baby in hand by the end of the 3rd year. So… in 2020, at age 32, I calculated 3 years ahead to 35 for this aggressive-but-maybe-possible baby and, knowing this age is the textbook start of the female "decline in fertility," I started freaking out that maybe I would miss my window to have kids with my body.
Yes, you might now be thinking… "Wow… you’re kind of a nut!" Yes, yes, I know. Like I said, this is just how my brain works. This little timeline from my planner brain, plus a random text from a friend about another friend-of-a-friend being pregnant, plus living alone in a pandemic caused what I now think of as my "very sad summer" of 2020 when I basically gave up on love. That inadvertently caused me to meet my now-husband (which you can read more about here if you're new to my list), go figure.
Fast forward to today, it’s April 2022, and… I’m pregnant! I started feeling the baby kick last week so now I know it’s really in there! If all continues to go well, we will have this little babe in arms by mid-August: less than 2 years from our first date. This timeline still MAJORLY blows my mind every time I think about it 🤯 🤯 🤯.
My planner brain keeps saying: "WE BEAT OUR 3-YEAR TIMELINE… when have we ever done that?!?! WOOHOO!" My more spiritual self is simply in awe of the way life unfolds in ways so utterly unpredictable. Things happen fast and slow and at every pace in between. You might (like I did) spend 8 years feeling like dating is impossible, and then all the sudden complete several major love-life events in one fell swoop.
Often, it’s only when you look backwards that you can see it was all there waiting for you, you just couldn’t see what was on the other side of the mountain, or how far along you were on your climb. The only constant is the impermanence of everything. And when you’ve been through some low lows to get to some high highs, (in my experience) it makes the highs even more meaningful and magical, and hopefully, as we get wiser, eases the pain of the future lows just a little bit, knowing from experience that those are impermanent too.
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My other big update: we are moving to Pittsburgh, PA, (where I grew up) in early June. I honestly had never given much thought to moving back there until December 2020 when, during a random conversation with my mom, I had a gut realization that there was no where else EXCEPT Pittsburgh that I should move to if I wanted to be closer to family when I had kids - because there’s no other place (except SF) where I have such a high concentration of people who would love and support me and my budding little family. (Luckily my wonderful husband is on board to give Pittsburgh a shot!)
So… it’s time for a big new chapter of life, time to give more time to my East Coast people, time to check out a new place (we’re moving to the city, not the suburbs where I grew up, so I don’t actually know what it’ll be like to live there)! Time for a new food scene, and to see just how Californian I have truly become in the past 10 years living in SF…(eek, winters again, I'm nervous)!
I went on a retreat last week (hence, all the big thoughts, haha!) at this amazingly beautiful place in Big Sur called Esalen, and our teacher played a song that REALLY moved me. It’s called "Dissect the Bird" by John Craigie.
I highly recommend you listen (on spotify / youtube) for the full effect, but I typed up the lyrics that really got me below! Wherever you are in life, whatever you’re going through while reading this update, I hope these words might bring you some comfort or peace or amazement too 😊. (I bolded my favorite lines in case you want to skim.)
"So when the candle flickers
when the days get dark
they call ‘em first world problems
they still break your heart
when the universe feels
like it’s against you
just take a minute to realize
all it took to make you
your parents had to meet
as random as that was
and hang out long enough at least
to make some love
and make a baby
and give it your name
and all your ancestors
had to do the same
exponentially backwards to the start of life
so much had to happen
just exactly right
sparks had to catch
oceans had to freeze
billions of cells had to survive
endless disease
civilizations had to crumble
wars had to be fought
bad presidents had to get elected
good presidents had to get shot
people had to leave
hearts had to get broken
people had to die
so your eyes could open
the universe… is not against you
the universe is… not against you
it went through a lot
just to give you a chance
it must have wanted you… pretty bad
no pressure though
no pressure though
the universe went through a lot but
no pressure bro
you don’t gotta be perfect
you don’t gotta be a saint
just don’t waste it
this was not a mistake
oh you’re doing it wrong
dissecting the bird
trying to find the song
it’s a miracle
that you’re here at all"
- from "Dissect the Bird" by John Craigie
Thanks for reading this life update, back to food content next week!
Love,
Jess
PS. And to head off your questions, I am 24 weeks along this week, and currently feeling great (thank you for wondering). And no, we did not find out the sex of the baby, we are being surprised!
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All photos are taken by me and recipes written by me, unless otherwise noted.
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Hi, I'm Jess! I help health-conscious, busy people transform their cooking from chore to lifestyle through intuitive cooking, which I teach through online classes, free content, coaching and more. This is my newsletter, Food for Thought Fridays, where I share highly actionable tips and inspiration to help you cook more intuitively (which makes cooking feel easier and SO much more fun!). Once a month, I share a recipe that's really worth making, and I only share those with my email subscribers. Sometimes the text above may include affiliate links, meaning (at no additional cost to you) I get a commission if you click through and make a purchase. This helps me to continue to share free content, so I would love it if you buy through my link! Thank you for supporting Garlic Press Jess!
I currently work + live on land that is the unceded territory of the Ramaytush Ohlone. And I can't wait to eat at Cafe Ohlone! Check out this article about them.
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